Jazz III : Inverse Chopsticks .

Jazz III : Inverse Chopsticks
Andre Willers
24 Mar 2011

Synopsis :
Four-Mallet Vibraphone is Inverse chopsticks for two hands .

Discussion :
The Vibraphone
No , not a call-girl accessory .
It is a 20th century percussion instrument , mostly used in jazz .
( See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibraphone )

Think a desktop percussion organ . The resonator tubes are variably closed at the top end by rotating disks , driven by electric motors at varying speeds .This gives a large range of resonances .

Think xylophone , but with a very large range .

Chopsticks:
Chopsticks eating requires one hand co-ordinating two long levers to pick up food

Four-Mallet Vibraphone is two mallet levers per hand hitting different keys under control and in tune . The mallets hit different keys .
Inverse chopsticks , indeed .

Theoretically , 8 mallet playing is possible (one mallet between each finger ) . It
should not even be too difficult for humans , and a snap for a click-speaker .

See http://andreswhy.blogspot.com "The Squat and the Wobble" Oct 2004 et al
See http://andreswhy.blogspot.com "Human Nails" Aug 2007 et al
See http://andreswhy.blogspot.com "Music and the Singularity" Nov 2008
See "Click" articles .

Organ speculation :
What if we turn an organ in a large cathedral into a vibraphone?
It should be easy .
It would really shake your brain .
This would really be something .

Click-speakers :
A decent vibraphone is a must in training .
Some nerve-connections will not form without the necessary stimulation .

Sports :
Sports with "twacking" sounds , like tennis , golf , hockey , boxing , karate , etc .
Players will benefit about 10% - 15% by playing a vibraphone .

Theoretical background : Memristors:
A March Newscientist has an article describing experiments that show that sweat follicules in the human act like variable resistors to conductance , resulting in a net effect of a memristor . A system that learns at skin level , long before any nerve impulse even reaches the notochord .
Air-pressure differential normally would have little effect on a sweat-follicle .But a loud , abrupt sound will . The system notices and trains . The result is fed directly into the muscular system , bypassing the whole CNS .

Because the whole skin system acts as a memristor , it can be sensitized .
So , training can allow exaggerated click sounds to effect sensitizing skin -> muscle reactions.
Training and extremely fast reactions on scales not possible before can be done .
At cellular level .

A 100 meter dash athlete can train with exaggerated sounds to sensitize an extremely fast skin-sound -> muscle reaction , then utilize it by Clicking tongue or teeth

Normal training :
Just exaggerate and shorten the sounds using a sensor and a speaker .
Train as normal .
Relative performance will improve dramatically , until everybody else catches on .

Click-speaker training :
Vibraphones are expensive ($400 - $15 000)

How to make a less-expensive , more effective Water-vibraphone :
1.Get a cheap xylophone
2.Fix resonating PVC pipes below each resonating strip(Bottom of pipe sealed)
Longest pipes below longest xylophone strips . It need not be flush .
3.Stick in small plastic pipe at the top to allow water to be added . The water level will change the resonance of the pipe .
4.The same pipe can be stuck down further to siphon out unwanted water .
5. Let her rip with the hammers and adjust water levels where heard necessary .
The brain , ear and hands will compensate . The important thing is to have sharp clicks and variable resonances .
6. Also , it is suitably messy for humans of varying ages . Great fun !

Deoderants :
Sportspersons should under no circumstances use deodorants that operate by short-circuiting the sweat-follicle mechanism (ie aluminium , silver particles, etc ) .
This will screw up their reaction speeds and coordination .
"Oh dearie , off form are we ? "

The inverse is possible .
A spray that enhances the memristor effect .
"I may smell like a goat , but it is a Champion Goat !"


And all that Jazz .
Andre .

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