Sunday, June 17, 2012


Lower Slobbovia
Andre Willers
17 Jun 2012
Synopsis :
Country-of-refuge for anti-utopians , anti-posthumans , anti-transhumans , anti-humans , misanthropes , thrice divorced and general trash .
Discussion :
A short history :
The losers of the wars got the country .
One of the madder Caesars sent in a legion , henceforth known as the Lost Legion .
Deportation to Lower-Slobbovia was banned as cruel and unusual punishment , even by the Nazi’s .
The Mongols decided not to invade Europe after their scouts discovered it .
The Bermuda Triangle was trained by Lower Slobbovia .
The Black Death blanched when it reached its borders .
During the cold War , the USSR and US considered nuking it , but was afraid it would only make it more Slobbovian .
All teenagers are honorary Slobbovians .

Culture :
There is only one hostelry . Any tourist desiring admission is , by definition , insane and therefore directed to the Apoptosis Spa .
The Apoptosis Spa is infamous for inspiring artists and scientists .
Munch ran screaming . HP Lovecraft gibbered . Poe simply kept on saying “Nevermore !” . Sartre wrote “Nausea” after a lunch there . Nietzsche went mad from room service . Wagner kept riding in circles . Freud was buggered . Abdul Alhazred scribbled . Riemann got cross-eyed . Dante went round-and-round .
Stephen Leacock rode off in all directions . Heisenberg dazedly wondered where he was . Einstein hoped it was all relative . Planck thought it couldn’t get worse . Hubble thought the border kept on getting further away .
Basil Fawlty trained there . Dr Frankenstein ran the clinic . (It had a 100% cure rate for suicidal depression) .
In the ballroom , the band only plays the Suicide Walz .

Ethnic Food :
Numerous economists have gone into paeans of praise about the Apoptosis Spa’s Free Lunch Specials . A true People’s Culinaria , with just a touch of ordure .

Climate and Sports :
Something for all . Freezing desert on top , and boiling hot marsh on the surface , with a delicate touch of subterranean deserts . A challenge for the serious sportsman . There is an ever popular Winner-Gets-Exit-Visa Race every morning after breakfast at the Apoptosis Spa .

See your local politician for how to get to this charming spot .
Appendix I
For some more info , see

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